Existence Comes Before the Self!

You Start Dying Slowly

You start dying slowly

if you do not travel,

if you do not read,

If you do not listen to the sounds of life,

If you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly

When you kill your self-esteem;

When you do not let others help you.

You start dying slowly

If you become a slave of your habits,

Walking everyday on the same paths…

If you do not change your routine,

If you do not wear different colours

Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.

You start dying slowly


If you avoid to feel passion


And their turbulent emotions;

Those which make your eyes glisten

And your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly

If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love,

If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain,

If you do not go after a dream,

If you do not allow yourself,

At least once in your lifetime,

To run away from sensible advice…

I came across this poem recently, in English. Two contradictory concepts – life and death, can be handled in such delicacy. The poet has described the subject so beautifully that each reader can take away a different message. I mean, you may read the verses from whichever lense (beliefs and attitudes) you look at life. I think those who live life to the fullest and those who think about death and fear it so much that they suffer in hell get a different message out of it. For me, for example, these lines say the following: Yes, you are living without knowing when the end will come, and yes, maybe you are slowly approaching death on this path called life; but the truth is that you are living as long as you have discovered your passion, your meaning, your purpose of existence and you are living it every day! It reminds me of the famous saying… “you die once, you live everyday”. So travel, read, change your habits and routines, wear different colors, chat with strangers, engage with your emotions, get out of your comfort zone, take risks, leave your logic aside and follow your heart!

Regardless of the theme and message of the poem, I can say that this poem has shed light on a phenomenon that I have been questioning for years. Let me explain… This poem is adapted from the text A Morte Devagar* (Slow Death) published in 2000, which you can encounter in two versions (You Start Dying Slowly and Dies Slowly (Muere Lentamente**). It is considered by many sources to be by the famous Chilean poet Pablo Neruda, the Nobel Prize winner for Literature. In reality, however, it is not by Neruda, but by Brazilian writer Martha Medeiros. Neruda experts who have investigated the matter have stated that the poem is not by Neruda, while the Pablo Neruda Foundation itself has confirmed that it is by Martha Medeiros.

Based on this, I am questioning this profound and meaningful poem and the primacy of the importance of art and the artist. I do this from two perspectives: (1) the intellectual property rights of the poet and (2) the existence of the poet based on existentialist philosophy. Property rights are legal arrangements that protect one’s rights as a result of one’s industrial, scientific, literary or artistic creation. It is like the regulation that protects a scientific proposition I come up with from being appropriated by another academic. Existentialism, on the other hand, is a philosophical movement centered on the proposition “Existence comes before the self”, which argues that human beings create their own values, build their own lives and futures, and exist through their actions (what they do). Accordingly, my existence as an academic is possible through my propositions, and my propositions come before myself. After all, one registers the name right of my proposition to myself, while the other guarantees my existence through my actions.

The question is which one comes first. I realize that, like the chicken and the egg, they are two concepts that one feeds the other and are difficult to separate… Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s! I am not going to discuss the importance of giving the right of the poem to the poet, but it touches directly on a subject that I have been questioning in my value and thought system for the last 10-15 years. I sincerely ask for your opinion… Which is more important for you; the creator of a phenomenon or its creator? Which leaves a lasting impression on your life and memory, the invention itself or the inventor? Is it the poet or the poem itself, the depth and meaning it creates that should be at the forefront, or is it the poem itself, the depth and meaning it creates? I wonder how the priority is when you are the creator and the created and not someone else, is it the same or does it change? What effect does it have on you to own what you have created, to share and spread it?

I have been searching for an answer to this dilemma for years, chatting with those around me and mirroring their feelings, thoughts and behaviors to myself. My questioning continues; I have not yet reached a conclusion! However, like any (biased) scientist, I come across examples that support my stance, as I tend to justify my own opinion. This poem is one of them; although it belongs to one person, it seems to have belonged to two poets, to have gone beyond its owner, to have come to the forefront with its meaning, its messages and its impact. This is my conclusion. What’s yours?

Love from Barcelona.
May 02 2022

*A Morte Devagar: http://niilismo.net/reflexoes/a_morte_devagar.php
**Muere Lentamente: https://www.malumatfurus.org/yavas-yavas-olurler-siiri/