{"id":5440,"date":"2023-07-02T16:21:36","date_gmt":"2023-07-02T16:21:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/?p=5440\/"},"modified":"2024-09-02T21:26:04","modified_gmt":"2024-09-02T21:26:04","slug":"her-seyin-anasi-kadin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/her-seyin-anasi-kadin\/","title":{"rendered":"Her \u015eeyin Anas\u0131 Kad\u0131n"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cKad\u0131nlar erkeklerle e\u015fit olduklar\u0131 konusunda aptalca bir m\u00fccadele sergiliyorlar\u2026<\/em>\u201d Bu s\u00f6zler William Gerald Golding\u2019e ait. Toplumsal cinsiyet e\u015fitli\u011fi (TCE) savunucular\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131zd\u0131raca\u011f\u0131ndan eminim. Fakat, tek ba\u015f\u0131na al\u0131r ve Golding\u2019in devam\u0131nda s\u00f6ylediklerini dikkate almazsak e\u011fer, TCE savunucular\u0131 -ve bendeniz- hiddetlenmekte hakl\u0131d\u0131r derim. Zira, bug\u00fcn, bu anlay\u0131\u015fta olup, kad\u0131n\u0131 kenara iten, toplumda yerini ve alan\u0131n\u0131 gasp eden, ve haklar\u0131 \u00fczerinde hak iddia eden bir topluluk mevcut. Bu hastal\u0131kl\u0131 topluluk, ne yaz\u0131k ki pek de az\u0131msanmayacak bir \u00e7o\u011funlukta.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Birle\u015fmi\u015f Milletler Geli\u015fim Program\u0131 (UNDP) ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131 kapsam\u0131nda 2023 Toplumsal Cinsiyet Normlar\u0131 Index<\/em>* sonu\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 incelersen ne demek istedi\u011fimi \u00e7ok iyi anlayacaks\u0131n. 91 \u00fclkede kad\u0131n ile erke\u011fin politik, e\u011fitim, ekonomik, ve fiziksel entegrasyonu temalar\u0131nda cinsiyet e\u015fitli\u011fi alg\u0131lar\u0131 \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f. \u00d6rne\u011fin, T\u00fcrkiye n\u00fcfusunun %91,08\u2019i (erkeklerin %93,65\u2019i, kad\u0131nlar\u0131n %88,45\u2019i) TCE konusunda yanl\u0131 (biased). En \u00fcst s\u0131ralamada %99,92 ile Tajikistan (erkelerin %100\u2019\u00fc, kad\u0131nlar\u0131n %99,83\u2019\u00fc), ard\u0131ndan Pakistan, Katar, Libya, Endonezya gibi \u00fclkeler geliyor. S\u0131ralaman\u0131n sonunda %27,39 ile Yeni Zelanda (erkeklerin %32,73\u2019\u00fc, kad\u0131nlar\u0131n %23,16\u2019s\u0131), ve s\u0131ras\u0131yla \u0130sve\u00e7 (%27,93), Birle\u015fik Krall\u0131k (%29,60), Hollanda (%30,64) yer al\u0131yor. Sence de ilgin\u00e7 de\u011fil mi? TCE alg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n en az olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 varsayd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z Almanya (%37,45), Norve\u00e7 (%40,93), Finlandiya (%51,63) gibi \u00fclkelerde dahi bu yanl\u0131l\u0131k mevcut. Yani, diyece\u011fim \u015fu ki, cinsiyet e\u015fitli\u011fi alg\u0131s\u0131 en geli\u015fmi\u015f \u00fclkelerde dahi t\u00fcm\u00fcyle yerle\u015fmi\u015f ve benimsenmi\u015f de\u011fil! (\u00dclkeler aras\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131rma yapmak i\u00e7in linki a\u015fa\u011f\u0131da b\u0131rak\u0131yorum.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gelelim as\u0131l konuya\u2026 Golding\u2019in s\u00f6zlerinin devam\u0131n\u0131 okuyunca (ki, sana \u00e7ok tan\u0131d\u0131k gelecek), bir TCE savunucusu olmak bir yana, tutkulu bir feminist (hatta profeminist) olaca\u011f\u0131ndan eminim. L\u00e2kin, Golding devam\u0131nda \u015f\u00f6yle demi\u015f:<\/p>\n

\u201cAsl\u0131nda kad\u0131nlar erkeklerden her zaman daha y\u00fcce ve b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fcrler. <\/em><\/p>\n

Kad\u0131na her ne verirseniz, kad\u0131n onu b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcr ve \u00e7o\u011falt\u0131r. <\/em><\/p>\n

E\u011fer kad\u0131na sperm verirseniz, size \u00e7ocuk verir. <\/em><\/p>\n

E\u011fer ona bir ev verirseniz, size bir yuva verir. <\/em><\/p>\n

E\u011fer ona sebze verirseniz, size yemek verir. <\/em><\/p>\n

E\u011fer ona g\u00fcl\u00fcc\u00fck verirseniz, o size kalbini verir. <\/em><\/p>\n

Kad\u0131n her \u015feyi misliyle \u00e7o\u011falt\u0131r ve size verir. <\/em><\/p>\n

E\u011fer yan\u0131l\u0131p da ona \u00e7er \u00e7\u00f6p verirseniz, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda tonlarca pislik almaya haz\u0131r olun<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Golding\u2019in son \u00f6nerisine kar\u015f\u0131n, besleyen, b\u00fcy\u00fcten, geli\u015ftiren rol\u00fc ve misyonuyla ya\u015fayan kad\u0131n, bug\u00fcne kadar hakk\u0131 yenmesine ra\u011fmen g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc muameleye tonlarca pislikle yan\u0131t vermeyi se\u00e7memi\u015f. Onun yerine TCE savunucusu erkeklerin de deste\u011fini yan\u0131na alarak haklar\u0131n\u0131 savunmaya u\u011fra\u015fm\u0131\u015f. Ama ne yaz\u0131k ki \u00e7ok az yol alm\u0131\u015f. Neden mi? Erkeklerin hakk\u0131ndan gelemeyece\u011finden de\u011fil! Bence, ana\u00e7 rol\u00fcnden vazge\u00e7medi\u011finden b\u00f6yle yapm\u0131\u015f. Sahip oldu\u011fu g\u00fc\u00e7 ve potansiyelini hen\u00fcz ke\u015ffetmemi\u015f ve \u00f6rg\u00fctlenememi\u015f olmas\u0131ndan dolay\u0131 TCE savunuculu\u011funda az yol alm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As\u0131l kilit nokta \u015furada: kad\u0131n kendi g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fcn fark\u0131nda olmasa da, erkek g\u00f6rmekte, hatta kad\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fc ve potansiyelinden korkmakta. O y\u00fczden kad\u0131n\u0131 bask\u0131lamakta ve k\u0131s\u0131tlamakta. Erkek kendi \u00f6zg\u00fcvenini, g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc ve potansiyelini geli\u015ftirmek yerine, bask\u0131lama ve k\u0131s\u0131tlama yoluyla kad\u0131n\u0131 zay\u0131flatmaya, etkisizle\u015ftirmeye, ve kendi hakimiyetini kurmaya yeltenmekte. Taliban rejimiyle Afganistan\u2019da geli\u015fen s\u00fcre\u00e7 bundan ibaret. Pakistan, Libya, Katar gibi \u00fclkelerden \u0130sve\u00e7, Hollanda, Norve\u00e7 gibi \u00fclkelere kadar, TCE\u2019ne kar\u015f\u0131 (veya savunucusu) olan toplumlar\u0131 birbirinden ay\u0131ran unsur da i\u015fte budur. E\u015fitlik alg\u0131s\u0131 ve ya\u015fay\u0131\u015f bi\u00e7imi, her erkek ve kad\u0131n\u0131n kendine g\u00fcvenme, e\u011fitim ve beceriye \u00f6nem verme, ve di\u011ferinin onun varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tamamlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 alg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131ma derecesine ba\u011fl\u0131.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Birka\u00e7 ay \u00f6nce Facebook\u2019ta biri \u201cBir kad\u0131n\u0131n erkekten bekledi\u011fi en \u00f6nemli \u015fey nedir?\u201d diye sormu\u015f. Hak verirsin, ya da vermezsin, ama benim cevab\u0131m \u015f\u00f6yleydi: \u201cKad\u0131n kendi olma \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc ya\u015famak ister. Hayat\u0131na ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 erke\u011fin de bunu verecek kadar kendine g\u00fcvenen, kendini seven ve kendini sayan erkek olmas\u0131 yeterlidir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kendini sever, sayar ve g\u00fcvenirse, kad\u0131n\u0131 da sever, sayar ve g\u00fcvenir. Kad\u0131n ile erke\u011fin arad\u0131\u011f\u0131 doyum ve mutluluk, asl\u0131nda birbirinde sakl\u0131d\u0131r.\u201d<\/em> \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc, kad\u0131n ile erkek bir elman\u0131n iki yar\u0131s\u0131 gibidir, ve Golding\u2019in dedi\u011fi gibi, kad\u0131n her \u015feyin anas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Barda\u011f\u0131n dolu taraf\u0131na bakmakta fayda var. (Yoksa bo\u015f taraf\u0131 seni de beni de yakar!) Yani, bu alg\u0131 ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncenin var oldu\u011funu do\u011frulayacak \u00f6rneklerin ve ki\u015filerin oldu\u011funu biliyoruz; onlara odaklanmal\u0131. Bu vesileyle kad\u0131nlara atfedilen s\u00fcr\u00fcyle \u015fark\u0131 ve \u015fiir mevcut. Bunlardan biri de Billy Joel ve 1977 y\u0131l\u0131ndan kalma She\u2019s Always A Woman**<\/em> (O Her Zaman Bir Kad\u0131n) \u015fark\u0131s\u0131. Seni bu \u015fark\u0131 ve s\u00f6zleriyle b\u0131rak\u0131yorum\u2026 Keyifli dinlemeler.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u0130zmir T\u0131razl\u0131\u2019dan sevgilerimle.<\/p>\n

2 Temmuz 2023<\/p>\n

<\/h2>\n

*2023 Gender Social Norms Index (GSNI)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/hdr.undp.org\/content\/2023-gender-social-norms-index-gsni#\/indicies\/GSNIn<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**She\u2019s Always A Woman <\/em>by Billy Joel (1977)<\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Cx3QmqV2pHg<\/a><\/p>\n

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
\nAnd she can ruin your faith with her casual lies
\nAnd she only reveals what she wants you to see
\nShe hides like a child but she’s always a woman to me<\/p>\n

She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
\nShe can ask for the truth but she’ll never believe you
\nAnd she’ll take what you give her as long as it’s free<\/p>\n

Yeah, she steals like a thief, but she’s always a woman to me<\/p>\n

Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants
\nShe’s ahead of her time
\nOh, and she never gives out and she never gives in
\nShe just changes her mind<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And she’ll promise you more than the garden of Eden
\nThen she’ll carelessly cut you and laugh while you’re bleeding
\nBut she’ll bring out the best and the worst you can be
\nBlame it all on yourself ’cause she’s always a woman to me<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants
\nShe’s ahead of her time
\nOh, and she never gives out and she never gives in
\nShe just changes her mind<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She is frequently kind and she’s suddenly cruel
\nBut she can do as she pleases, she’s nobody’s fool
\nAnd she can’t be convicted, she’s earned her degree
\nAnd the most she will do is throw shadows at you
\nBut she’s always a woman to me<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

**O Her Zaman Bir Kad\u0131n<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

G\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek \u00f6ld\u00fcrebilir, g\u00f6zleriyle yaralayabilir<\/p>\n

S\u0131radan yalanlar\u0131yla inanc\u0131n\u0131 mahvedebilir.<\/p>\n

Sadece g\u00f6rmeni istedi\u011fi \u015feyleri ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Bir \u00e7ocuk gibi saklan\u0131r, ama benim i\u00e7in o her zaman bir kad\u0131nd\u0131r.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seni a\u015fka g\u00f6t\u00fcrebilir, seni alabilir ya da b\u0131rakabilir.<\/p>\n

Ger\u00e7e\u011fi isteyebilir ama sana asla inanmayacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Bedava oldu\u011fu s\u00fcrece ona ne verirsen al\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Evet, bir h\u0131rs\u0131z gibi \u00e7alar, ama benim i\u00e7in o her zaman bir kad\u0131nd\u0131r.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kendi ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7aresine bakar, isterse bekleyebilir.<\/p>\n

O zaman\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6tesindedir.<\/p>\n

Asla pes etmez ve vazge\u00e7mez<\/p>\n

Sadece fikrini de\u011fi\u015ftirir.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sana cennet bah\u00e7esinden daha fazlas\u0131n\u0131 vaat edecektir.<\/p>\n

Seni dikkatsizce kesecek ve sen kanarken g\u00fclecektir.<\/p>\n

O senin en iyi ve en k\u00f6t\u00fc yanlar\u0131n\u0131 ortaya \u00e7\u0131karacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

B\u00fct\u00fcn su\u00e7u kendine at, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc benim i\u00e7in o her zaman bir kad\u0131nd\u0131r.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kendi ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7aresine bakar, isterse bekleyebilir.<\/p>\n

O zaman\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6tesindedir.<\/p>\n

Asla pes etmez ve vazge\u00e7mez<\/p>\n

Sadece fikrini de\u011fi\u015ftirir.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

S\u0131k s\u0131k naziktir ve aniden zalimle\u015febiliir<\/p>\n

\u0130stedi\u011fini yapabilir, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc o kimsenin aptal\u0131 de\u011fildir.<\/p>\n

Ceza yemez, \u00a0r\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcn\u00fc ispatlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/p>\n

En fazla herkesin i\u00e7inde seni k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcr.<\/p>\n

Ama benim i\u00e7in o her zaman bir kad\u0131nd\u0131r.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cKad\u0131nlar erkeklerle e\u015fit olduklar\u0131 konusunda aptalca bir m\u00fccadele sergiliyorlar\u2026\u201d Bu s\u00f6zler William Gerald Golding\u2019e ait. Toplumsal cinsiyet e\u015fitli\u011fi (TCE) savunucular\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131zd\u0131raca\u011f\u0131ndan eminim. Fakat, tek ba\u015f\u0131na al\u0131r ve Golding\u2019in devam\u0131nda s\u00f6ylediklerini dikkate almazsak e\u011fer, TCE savunucular\u0131 -ve bendeniz- hiddetlenmekte hakl\u0131d\u0131r derim. Zira, bug\u00fcn, bu anlay\u0131\u015fta olup, kad\u0131n\u0131 kenara iten, toplumda yerini ve alan\u0131n\u0131 gasp eden, ve […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5447,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5440","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-yazilar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5440","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5440"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5440\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5442,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5440\/revisions\/5442"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5447"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5440"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5440"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5440"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}