{"id":4884,"date":"2020-11-26T20:11:00","date_gmt":"2020-11-26T20:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/?p=4884\/"},"modified":"2020-12-05T20:11:41","modified_gmt":"2020-12-05T20:11:41","slug":"vermenin-inanilmaz-bin-bir-hali","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/vermenin-inanilmaz-bin-bir-hali\/","title":{"rendered":"Vermenin \u0130nan\u0131lmaz Bin Bir Hali"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>(Yazar\u0131 sesli dinlemek i\u00e7in t\u0131klay\u0131n.)<br \/>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-4884-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/19-Vermenin-Inanilmaz-Bin-Bir-Hali.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/19-Vermenin-Inanilmaz-Bin-Bir-Hali.m4a\">https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/19-Vermenin-Inanilmaz-Bin-Bir-Hali.m4a<\/a><\/audio><\/p>\n<p>Bu sat\u0131rlar\u0131, 26 Kas\u0131m 2020 Per\u015fembe g\u00fcn\u00fc yaz\u0131yorum. Bug\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6zelli\u011fi, Amerikal\u0131lar\u0131n her sene Kas\u0131m ay\u0131n\u0131n son Per\u015fembesi kutlad\u0131klar\u0131 \u015e\u00fckran G\u00fcn\u00fc olmas\u0131. Herkesin ailece toplan\u0131p yemek yedi\u011fi, sevdikleriyle minnet duygular\u0131n\u0131 payla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131, onlara taktirlerini dile getirdi\u011fi, ve var olduklar\u0131 i\u00e7in \u015f\u00fckranlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6sterdikleri bir g\u00fcn. Her ne kadar ba\u015fka bir dilde \u201ciyi ki vars\u0131n\u201d s\u00f6zleri olmasa da, onlar\u0131n bunu ifade ettikleri bir g\u00fcnleri var! Benim i\u00e7inse y\u0131l\u0131n 365 g\u00fcn\u00fc \u015f\u00fckranla dolu oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in, haliyle 365 g\u00fcn\u00fcn 24 saati hakkedene de\u011ferini veririm, te\u015fekk\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc ifade ederim, sevgimi en derinli\u011fiyle dolu dolu payla\u015f\u0131r\u0131m! Etraf\u0131ma bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda, her daim \u015f\u00fckretti\u011fim ve \u201ciyi ki var, iyi ki var\u0131m\u201d dedi\u011fim g\u00f6kteki y\u0131ld\u0131zlar kadar \u015feyler var&#8230; Bazen dolunay\u0131n berrakl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez oluyorlar; bazense zifiri karanl\u0131kta g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f tanecikleri gibi \u00f6ne \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yorlar. Fakat hep varlar! Bilimsel ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar minnet ve \u015f\u00fckran duygusunun sa\u011fl\u0131\u011fa ve mutlulu\u011fa katk\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 defalarca ispatlad\u0131; dahas\u0131, salt bu duyguyu tatmak de\u011fil, ba\u015fkas\u0131na tatt\u0131rman\u0131n etkisinin daha da b\u00fcy\u00fck oldu\u011funu vurgulad\u0131. Esas\u0131nda, bu vurgunun i\u00e7inde \u00e7ok ince bir nokta yat\u0131yor \u2013o da \u015f\u00fckran ifadesinin geli\u015fi, verili\u015fi, ve yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 etki!<\/p>\n<p>Kelime oyunlar\u0131na girmeden \u00f6nce \u2013girece\u011fim ona da, mecbur; anlatmak istedi\u011fimi k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir hikayeyle renklendirmek, somutla\u015ft\u0131rmak istiyorum. Olay k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir hastane odas\u0131nda ge\u00e7iyor. Be\u015f ya\u015flar\u0131nda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir k\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011fu, hasta olan karde\u015fine kan\u0131n\u0131 vermeyi kabul ediyor. Doktorlar\u0131n s\u00f6ylemine g\u00f6re, kendi daha \u00f6nce bu hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve kurtuldu\u011fu i\u00e7in, kan\u0131n\u0131 verirse karde\u015fi ya\u015fayacak. Karde\u015fini \u00f6yle \u00e7ok seviyor ki, ne olursa olsun, ya\u015famas\u0131n\u0131 istiyor. Gerekli t\u00fcm haz\u0131rl\u0131klar tamamlan\u0131yor ve iki karde\u015f yan yana iki yatakta yat\u0131r\u0131larak kan nakil i\u015flemi ba\u015fl\u0131yor. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z, ara s\u0131ra karde\u015fine sevgi dolu g\u00f6zlerle bak\u0131yor, karde\u015finin y\u00fcz\u00fcne renk geldi\u011fini g\u00f6rd\u00fck\u00e7e mutlu oluyor. Bir yandan da, cesur y\u00fcz ifadesiyle doktoru takip ediyor g\u00f6zleri; ama kendi y\u00fcz\u00fc  giderek soluyor, g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemesi de s\u00f6n\u00fcyor. Aradan bir saat sonra, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z titrek sesle doktora \u201cne zaman \u00f6lece\u011fim?\u201d diye soruyor. Me\u011ferse, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck akl\u0131ndan ge\u00e7en, v\u00fccudundaki b\u00fct\u00fcn kan\u0131n al\u0131n\u0131p karde\u015fine verilece\u011fi, ve can\u0131n\u0131 karde\u015fine feda edece\u011fi. <\/p>\n<p>Diyeceksiniz ki, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131n karde\u015fi i\u00e7in hayat\u0131ndan vazge\u00e7mesi ne b\u00fcy\u00fck bir fedakarl\u0131k. Hangi karde\u015f bir di\u011feri i\u00e7in kendinden vazge\u00e7er?! Bunu ancak kendi kadar \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi birinin ya\u015famas\u0131 pahas\u0131na \u00f6z\u00fcnden vermeyi g\u00f6ze alan biri yapar. Bu salt bir vermekten ibaret de\u011fil; derin bir fedak\u00e2rl\u0131k veya \u00f6zveri \u00f6rne\u011fidir. O halde, sorar\u0131m; k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131n yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir fedak\u00e2rl\u0131k m\u0131d\u0131r, yoksa \u00f6zveri midir? Sahi, ikisinin fark\u0131 nedir ki? \u015e\u00f6yle&#8230; \u0130lk bak\u0131\u015fta, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131n yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 fedak\u00e2rl\u0131k gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor&#8230; Kan\u0131n\u0131 vererek karde\u015fi i\u00e7in ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 feda ediyor. Ancak, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131n yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u00e2rdan de\u011fil \u00f6z\u00fcnden vazge\u00e7mek&#8230; Yani, yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 kendi yerine karde\u015finin ya\u015famas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zetti\u011fi bir verme&#8230; Fedakarl\u0131ktan \u00e7ok daha derin ve i\u00e7ten bir arzunun sonucunda, kendinden veya \u00f6z\u00fcnden vazge\u00e7i\u015fi i\u00e7eren bir verme&#8230; Kendi i\u00e7in arzulad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya\u015fam\u0131 sevdi\u011fi karde\u015fine verebilme derinli\u011finde yatan bir verme&#8230; Kendi alm\u0131\u015f ve ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f kadar huzur ve mutluluk yaratacak bir verme&#8230; Kendi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6neminden \u00e7ok sevdi\u011finin \u00f6nemini vurgulayan bir verme&#8230; K\u0131saca, kendinden ziyade, de\u011fer verdi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnme ve \u00f6zverili (selfless) olmay\u0131 i\u00e7eren saf verme&#8230; <\/p>\n<p>Bilmem anlatabildim mi&#8230; fedak\u00e2rl\u0131k ile \u00f6zveri aras\u0131ndaki fark\u0131&#8230; Hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n her an\u0131nda bir al\u0131r bir veririz&#8230; Bu alma ve verme i\u015flemi bazen kendi do\u011fal ahenginde seyreder. \u00d6yle do\u011fald\u0131r ki, ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ve verdi\u011fimizi hissetmeyiz bile. Ancak yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 de\u011fer \u00f6yle m\u00fcthi\u015f b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fcr ki yabana at\u0131lamayacak kadar derindir; alan da veren de onu \u00e7ok iyi bilir, korur, ve daim k\u0131lar! Bazense, alma-verme dengesi \u015fa\u015fabilir, uyumsuz \u015fekilde seyreder; ve kendimizi ya \u00e7ok fazla verir, ya da \u00e7ok fazla al\u0131r halde buluruz&#8230; Sanki k\u00e2r\u0131m\u0131zdan feda ediyormu\u015f hissini ta\u015f\u0131r\u0131z; veya di\u011ferin k\u00e2r\u0131na g\u00f6z dikmi\u015fiz gibi hissederiz. G\u00f6n\u00fcls\u00fczce verme e\u011filimi i\u00e7ine girebiliriz; ki \u00f6yle zamanlarda verdik\u00e7e i\u00e7imizde g\u00f6n\u00fcls\u00fczl\u00fck hissi giderek b\u00fcy\u00fcr, duygusal i\u00e7 \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmaya yol a\u00e7ar. B\u00f6yle durumlarda \u00f6fke, k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131k, ve pi\u015fmanl\u0131k duyar\u0131z&#8230; Di\u011ferin g\u00f6n\u00fcls\u00fczce verdi\u011fini g\u00f6zlemledi\u011fimizde, su\u00e7luluk duygusu ta\u015f\u0131r, verilenin alt\u0131nda eziliriz. Art\u0131k verme ve almaktan \u00f6te, ili\u015fkiye s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nme ve kap\u0131y\u0131 kapama iste\u011fini ya\u015far\u0131z. Oysa, g\u00fczel ahenk i\u00e7inde s\u00fcregelen bir alma-verme ili\u015fkisi olabilecekken, uyumsuzluk ya\u015famak ne ac\u0131&#8230; <\/p>\n<p>\u0130\u015fte bu noktada, ahengin nerede kayboldu\u011funa bakmal\u0131 \u2013onda m\u0131, bende mi? Benim bildi\u011fim, ili\u015fkilerde \u2013ister kendiyle, ister ba\u015fkas\u0131yla; \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f noktas\u0131 daima ki\u015finin kendidir. Her \u015fey ki\u015finin kendinde ba\u015flar. Alma-verme denkleminde ben, acaba tak\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m tutumla k\u00e2r\u0131mdan feda eden bir ben miyim, yoksa \u00f6z\u00fcmden veren bir ben miyim? Hayat s\u00fct liman, her \u015fey toz pembe seyrederken bu olgular kendini kolay kolay g\u00f6stermez. Ama zor anlardan ge\u00e7erken kimle al\u0131\u015f veri\u015fimin ahenk i\u00e7inde oldu\u011funu, kimle zorlamayla y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc, kime \u00f6z\u00fcmden verdi\u011fimi, kime fedak\u00e2rl\u0131k etti\u011fimi; ayn\u0131 \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde kim bana \u00f6z\u00fcnden veya k\u00e2r\u0131ndan feda ederek verdi\u011fini daha i\u00e7ten ve a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131kla g\u00f6rebilirim. Esas i\u00e7-g\u00f6r\u00fc, her anda veya durumda, olan\u0131 oldu\u011fu gibi fark edebilmek olsa gerek. <\/p>\n<p>\u0130\u015fte, bu \u015f\u00fckran haftas\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7inden ge\u00e7erken, bu akl\u0131mdakiler de sonbahar yapraklar\u0131 gibi r\u00fczgarla beraber s\u00fcr\u00fckleniyor&#8230; Bir yandan, \u00e7evremdekileri g\u00f6zlemliyorum; bir birine verdi\u011fi temennileri, tebrikleri, de\u011feri, sevgiyi, i\u00e7tenli\u011fi izliyorum&#8230; Bir yandan da, \u015f\u00fckran ve minnet ifadelerinin y\u0131l\u0131n salt bir g\u00fcn\u00fcne s\u0131\u011fd\u0131r\u0131lmad\u0131\u011f\u0131, her g\u00fcne mal oldu\u011fu, ve katlanarak \u00e7o\u011fal\u0131p, ucu dokunan herkese zenginlik katmas\u0131n\u0131 diliyorum&#8230; \u0130\u015fte benim akl\u0131mdan da ge\u00e7en bunlar&#8230; <\/p>\n<p>Hayat\u0131mda var olan \u2013ve olmayan, her \u015feye minnet ve sevgiyle&#8230;<br \/>\nBarcelona\u2019dan Shirli<br \/>\n26 Kas\u0131m 2020<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(Yazar\u0131 sesli dinlemek i\u00e7in t\u0131klay\u0131n.) Bu sat\u0131rlar\u0131, 26 Kas\u0131m 2020 Per\u015fembe g\u00fcn\u00fc yaz\u0131yorum. Bug\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6zelli\u011fi, Amerikal\u0131lar\u0131n her sene Kas\u0131m ay\u0131n\u0131n son Per\u015fembesi kutlad\u0131klar\u0131 \u015e\u00fckran G\u00fcn\u00fc olmas\u0131. Herkesin ailece toplan\u0131p yemek yedi\u011fi, sevdikleriyle minnet duygular\u0131n\u0131 payla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131, onlara taktirlerini dile getirdi\u011fi, ve var olduklar\u0131 i\u00e7in \u015f\u00fckranlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6sterdikleri bir g\u00fcn. Her ne kadar ba\u015fka bir dilde \u201ciyi ki [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4886,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4884","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-yazilar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4884","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4884"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4884\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4887,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4884\/revisions\/4887"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4886"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4884"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4884"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindthepositive.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4884"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}